dat RING

Monday, April 6, 2015


{photo credit: me}

i'm engaged!! it's awesome and crazy and unreal (in the best way) and happy and sappy and exciting. and about a million other things. it's been almost a month since dan asked me to marry him. we were hiking in the north carolinas mountains and took a rest on a fallen tree. he told me it was time for a snack, and i got really excited because me and snacks be real tight. i saw him grab something out of his bag and then he climbed up next to me and there we sat side by side. he looked at me and said some really beautiful, wonderful things that i can't recall for the life of me, (that thing they say about everything being a blur during moments like this is true) and then the words "will you marry me?" landed on my ears. "yes yes yessssss."

dan is my encourager, supporter, spiritual leader, partner, adventure buddy, and best friend. he listens to me, is patient with me, and make me laugh. he knows i like to be silly and acts goofy with me on the reg. he loves the Lord and encourages me in my walk with Jesus.

when dan and i first started dating i told him i had a a "four seasons rule". basically, i wanted to date for a minimum of one year before taking any further steps. i would recommend that rule to anyone (although i know a lot of people who have dated for a lot less time who have wonderful, thriving marriages). to be honest, i had a lot of fears about marriage that i had been harboring for a long time. fears that started small and grew into big walls. fears that sat dormant because there was no pressing reason to have to work through them. dan became that reason. in him, i saw potential that i had never seen in anyone else. dan was encouraging when i told him i wanted to see a counselor about my fears. he supported my decision to work through the insecurities i had about marriage. we read through books together, shared many conversations and prayers, and talked through these issues with trusted friends and family.

it has been an incredible thing (to say the least) to see how the Lord has worked in my heart and mind about what marriage is and what it isn't. i think our culture has this mostly backwards. marriage is not simply the pinnacle of a romantic relationship. it is not for our personal happiness and fulfillment. it is not our end all be all. it does not fade into a fuzzy happily ever after, after the words "i do". marriage is to make us holy. marriage is to inspire us to love our spouse like Christ has loved us. marriage helps us take our eyes off our own self-centered mindset and rework our brains to think of someone else.

when you look at marriage that way, it changes everything i think! for me, the pressure lifted and i am excited as i think about my future with dan. i think we make a good team. and a cute one, too!

we are slowly but surely starting to plan for our october wedding. yes, this october. (everyone seems shocked that we are only giving ourselves 6 months?) some of it stresses me out, some of it excites me. i think i will be more than ready for the big day come october. let's get this party started already!

any of you married peeps have any wedding planning advice for this newb? what to do/what not to do? do share!

10 comments:

  1. Congratulations! That is so exciting. :)

    I am getting married on Saturday, and couldn't resist sharing a couple things I've learned during the planning process.

    1. Plan on having everything ready two weeks ahead of time. There will always be last minute stuff to finish up, but you don't want to go into your wedding weekend tired and stressed and with hands that are all burned from hot glue (not that I speak from experience there...)

    2. Send your invitations out on the earlier side. Some of my invitations took TWENTY DAYS to get to their recipients (in the US) and some of them took even longer to get bounced back to me. I was upset that people weren't RSVPing when they hadn't even gotten their invite yet!

    3. Someone's going to be weird. People respond to big events in their loved ones lives in truly unexpected ways. Some people will come out of the woodwork and be so supportive and loving, it will shock you, and others will let you down. This time was truly a lesson for me in loving people as they are, and not as I would like them to be, and keeping my expectations in check. That being said, if you have doubts about involving someone in your wedding, you should listen to them. It's easy to ask someone to be more involved later!

    4. ENJOY IT. It's a fun and special time, and it won't last forever, so make the most of it! My fiancé and I have planned date nights to knock out wedding stuff, and just generally tried to make it fun. Sometimes it's stressful and annoying but overall it's been great, and at the end of it you get to be married, so really, what's the downside? :)

    Best of luck!

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    1. ah! this is amazingly awesome! thank you for taking the time to respond (especially during the week before your wedding!) yes, i want this to be a fun time and a time of celebration. there are a lot of things that are just not really important to me but several other things that MUST HAPPEN. haha. i guess all brides are like that? we have knocked out the ceremony site and the photographer so far and we looked at a reception site today. i am feeling good about the decisions we have made. but enough about me-YOU GIRL. i am so excited and happy for you!! where are you guys getting married? it's going to be amazing, glue gun burned hands and all. ;-) happy wedding day!

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  2. Yayyy so happy for you! I loved everything you said about marriage. It is so easy to think that marriage will fulfill us and make us happy forever, because the world tells us it will. I'm so glad that God has brought a wonderful man into your life who's willing to be realistic about marriage but is also that prince charming that you totally deserve. So so happy for you! And you can definitely plan your wedding in 6 months - there is always a way to make it work!

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    1. Thank you! I think I had all of these completely unrealistic expectations/fears about what marriage is supposed to be based on everything I have heard and seen in our culture. It's been a cool ride to see how my thoughts have changed about it. I am way excited to marry this awesome guy and see where life takes us! :-) Also, I told Jenn that we needed to have a triple date soon. What do you think??

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  3. Congratulations on your engagement!

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  4. I LOVE this, Lacey!! I am so so so excited for you both, and what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing - this is very encouraging and wonderful and thrilling :) Love you! Congrats again :)

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    1. Aw sweet girl. Thank you!! It is all of those things and more. :-)

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  5. This is beautiful!! I'm so happy for you!! :) :) I can definitely agree with you on the fears about marriage and all that jazz. And 6 months!! Girl my first thought was she's crazy, but nah you can totally do it in 6 months! CONGRATS!!!
    ps- snacks and I are real tight too ;)

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    1. Thank you!! Haha. I'm going to prove that you can plan a baller wedding in 6 months! I'll just need lots of chocolate and wine to get me through. ;-)

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