dat RING

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i'm engaged!! it's awesome and crazy and unreal (in the best way) and happy and sappy and exciting. and about a million other things. it's been almost a month since dan asked me to marry him. we were hiking in the north carolinas mountains and took a rest on a fallen tree. he told me it was time for a snack, and i got really excited because me and snacks be real tight. i saw him grab something out of his bag and then he climbed up next to me and there we sat side by side. he looked at me and said some really beautiful, wonderful things that i can't recall for the life of me, (that thing they say about everything being a blur during moments like this is true) and then the words "will you marry me?" landed on my ears. "yes yes yessssss."

dan is my encourager, supporter, spiritual leader, partner, adventure buddy, and best friend. he listens to me, is patient with me, and make me laugh. he knows i like to be silly and acts goofy with me on the reg. he loves the Lord and encourages me in my walk with Jesus.

when dan and i first started dating i told him i had a a "four seasons rule". basically, i wanted to date for a minimum of one year before taking any further steps. i would recommend that rule to anyone (although i know a lot of people who have dated for a lot less time who have wonderful, thriving marriages). to be honest, i had a lot of fears about marriage that i had been harboring for a long time. fears that started small and grew into big walls. fears that sat dormant because there was no pressing reason to have to work through them. dan became that reason. in him, i saw potential that i had never seen in anyone else. dan was encouraging when i told him i wanted to see a counselor about my fears. he supported my decision to work through the insecurities i had about marriage. we read through books together, shared many conversations and prayers, and talked through these issues with trusted friends and family.

it has been an incredible thing (to say the least) to see how the Lord has worked in my heart and mind about what marriage is and what it isn't. i think our culture has this mostly backwards. marriage is not simply the pinnacle of a romantic relationship. it is not for our personal happiness and fulfillment. it is not our end all be all. it does not fade into a fuzzy happily ever after, after the words "i do". marriage is to make us holy. marriage is to inspire us to love our spouse like Christ has loved us. marriage helps us take our eyes off our own self-centered mindset and rework our brains to think of someone else.

when you look at marriage that way, it changes everything i think! for me, the pressure lifted and i am excited as i think about my future with dan. i think we make a good team. and a cute one, too!

we are slowly but surely starting to plan for our october wedding. yes, this october. (everyone seems shocked that we are only giving ourselves 6 months?) some of it stresses me out, some of it excites me. i think i will be more than ready for the big day come october. let's get this party started already!

any of you married peeps have any wedding planning advice for this newb? what to do/what not to do? do share!

luke 2:14

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happy friday! read through luke 2 this morning about the birth of Jesus. such a special time of year to remember the love we were given. happy christmas season!

six months

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a whole post devoted to my relationship? yup.

i'm really not one to yammer on and on about my love life. i know i mention my boy in posts here and there, but it's just not my style to gush endlessly (even though i could).

however, today is our six month anniversary, and i would be remiss if i didn't acknowledge it here since this blog is all about my life, and he is a very big part of it.

i've known dan for years, and i had a crush on him since our first introduction. (how could i not? LOOK AT HIM.) he is kind, sweet, encouraging, funny, and super cute to boot. he is way out of my league, and i don't know why he likes me, but i am trying my best to keep him around!

he calls me his dream girl, and i call him the best guy i know. thankful for these past six months with him.

{this picture is one of the first pictures we took together. it's blurry, but it's still one of my favorites.}

happy birthday dear chelsea

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today is my friend chelsea's 29th birthday. she and i met in college and even though she's a better dresser than i am (and a better baker, hostess, business woman, and hair model), she likes me and has remained a wonderful friend throughout the years. this weekend, we are having a MASSIVE girl party in my hometown with her and her mom, my friend sarah and her mom (and two kids), and me and my mom. girl powerrrrrr. i am woman, hear me roar.

chelsea has stuck with me through all kinds of ups and downs in my life. she has been a strong support system and sounding board when i needed her help, and she has also been a good enough friend to tell me when i'm about to do something stupid. "don't stick your finger in that outlet. you'll get hurt." that kind of thing. i owe her big time for putting up with my shenanigans. (that's why she's getting four presents this year instead of one...)

happy birthday, chelsea dear! year twenty nine has good things in store for you. now let's party!

heart day

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happy heart day to all my loves! thankful for you, all my readers. love you guys. thankful for my friends and my family. thankful for my bright pink fuzzy bathrobe. thankful for the cookie dough that sits in my refrigerator.

be love today.

here are some valentine's day inspired links for your browsing enjoyment.

free love songs

DIY concrete heart necklaces

a quote to encourage

an awesome valentine pinterest board (send a valentine to someone today!)

ritz cracker ice cream sandwich cookies

party animals

february mix

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happy february! every month when i curate my mixes, i try to pick a theme to base my playlists around. it usually tends to be whatever major holiday is happening that month, but that can be challenging because, really, how many songs are there about st. patrick's day? if there isn't a holiday to build a list around, my "themes" get really subtle and subjective: "i'm feeling happy about the bagel i ate this morning. this will make a great playlist theme." (it doesn't.)

since i am a big valentine's day fan, this month is one of my favorites to put together. however, unlike past february mixes, this playlist is a mixed bag. i usually do all lovey dovey songs, but i've realized that's not totally fair nor is it even the case for many people. i love a good love song as much as the next person, (boy, do i love them) but there is good and deep therapy in songs about heartbreak. having gone through a breakup myself last year, i know the tug of war that goes on between your mind and your heart when a relationship ends. it's hard and painful and lonely, and sometimes only a song can nail exactly what you're feeling. seriously, music is therapy.

also, i realize there are plenty of people out there who are neither in giddy love nor grief stricken with a broken heart. there are songs on this playlist for ya'll. i try to cover all my bases. all in a blogger's day's work.

pssst: look along my sidebar for the music player to listen to this playlist in its entirety. i've always just assumed you knew it was there but never actually mentioned it. but you guys are smart. hopefully you've figured it out before now.

february mix

step out : jose gonzalez

kiss me : ed sheeran

more time : needtobreathe

dreaming with a broken heart : john mayer

chocolate : the 1975

sea of love : the national

your firefly : ben cocks

wild heart : great american canyon band

tessellate : alt-j

hold on when you get love and let go when you give it : stars

beautiful war : kings of leon

you are goodbye : holly conlan

brother : matt corby

tell your heart heads up : mute math

who you love : john mayer feat. katy perry


happy listening!

golden birthday

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today is my younger brother riley's golden birthday. 20 years on the 20th. (cute kid in the middle.) yesterday, my family drove to his college town to celebrate with him. we treated him to mexican food, chocolate cupcakes and a huge cartoon balloon bouquet.

he's a trip, this one is. he is one of the funniest people i know. i don't even know how he comes up with the things that he says. i try really hard to be funny and i'm not in the slightest, but riley will make a comment off the cuff and have me rolling. i need to take lessons. maybe they offer a class in this somewhere. "how to be hilarious 101". see what i mean? that wasn't even funny. good lord.

happy birthday, riles! love you much.

happy to the birthday

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i interrupt my regularly scheduled postings to bring you this.

today is my mom's birthday and she deserves her own post. she is the most genuine person i know, and i love her for all that she is and all that she inspires me to be. she loves her husband, her kids, and her friends fiercely. she's always happy, always silly, always creative. if she weren't my mom, she'd probably be my competition. she's just good at everything.

i love you, mom. have the most wonderful of birthdays!

the day before

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merry christmas eve. i am sitting in bed drinking coffee and having some time with Jesus, and it hits the spot. later today, after i pack my car with way too much stuff for a just few days at home, i'll be driving down to the land of the pines. i'm excited to go somewhere where i know i will be greeted with squeals from my mom, a huge smile and hearty hello from my stepdad, and a surprisingly big hug from my much-cooler-than-i little brother. 

we will catch up over coffee (or wine depending on the time of day i arrive). we will drive around town with my stepdad dressed up as santa and shout "merry christmas!" to anyone and everyone we see. we will get dressed for christmas eve service at my parents' church and light candles and sing beautiful songs. we will come home and eat irish stew and be allowed to open one present only. we will lay out our stockings on the couch. and even though i am 28, i will definitely have a hard time falling asleep tonight. 

hope each of you has a very merry and joyful day today. even if you are still scurrying around making last minute purchases and preparations, take some moments to breathe and relax and focus on the joys of the season. friends, family, love, giving and receiving. take it all in. 

on a related note, my good friend chelsea is an amazing writer and has recently published an article about this beautiful season we are in. take a few minutes and read; it's really wonderful. 

surprise shower

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my sweet co-worker emily is getting married on sunday, and our office threw a little surprise shower for her last week. i decorated our break room with all kinds of pretty things, and we had a delicious lunch for her and her fiancé, adam. 

i've known emily for about four years, and she has become such a dear friend to me. we first met when i was working as the retail accounts manager at a gluten free kitchen called rosie's plate in downtown raleigh. she was the head chef, and let me tell you, she made magic happen in that kitchen. so many delicious treats. (all gluten free no less. #impressed). 

when rosie's closed down, we went our separate ways but remained in contact and met for coffee every now and then to catch up. during one of those coffee dates she informed me of a job opening at the office where she worked. at this time i was very unhappy in my current position and was looking for a change. i knew i wanted the job when she told me they never worked on fridays. she helped set up an interview for me, and a few weeks later we were working side-by-side again. together we rule patient relations and office administration.

i am beyond excited for emily to marry adam. the way they interact with each other is full of ease and understanding, and i love seeing her giddy with excitement. here are a few shots of our surprise party (and of the beautiful couple)!

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first up, this picture kills me. i can't stop looking at it and swooning over it. this is one of the shots from their recent engagement shoot. RIGHT?

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can't wait for the wedding celebrating this weekend! congrats to emily and adam!

gather together and let's celebrate

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this past weekend was full. it was busy and fun and exhausting in all the best ways. when sunday evening came, my bones were weary and my head welcomed the pillow.

i spent a good portion of friday in the hospital with very close friends as their brother/son/husband/grandson had major surgery. we spent the day in reception taking turns getting coffee and reading books and making small talk. as the day turned to evening we heard word from the surgeon that all was well and the procedure was a success. we cheered and clapped and held hands in a big lopsided circle and thanked God for His goodness. 

the rest of the weekend was spent dancing the night away in downtown raleigh to celebrate a friend's recent engagement, ordering bloody marys, lobster and crab spring rolls, and bison sushi at cowfish for my older brother's birthday, and gathering together with 20 other ladies at a bridal shower for my wonderful co-worker who is getting married in less than a month. 

this weekend felt like one big celebration. we celebrated the answered prayers of a successful surgery, we celebrated the upcoming weddings of two brides and grooms, we celebrated the turning of another year older and wiser. 

sunday night as i was falling into bed, i was reminded of all the people who i am happy and honored to know. friendships that i never thought i would treasure as much as i do. families that aren't blood relation but treat me as such. girlfriends that have been my support system throughout the years. so many different relationships and dynamics and all so important.

i'll tell you what, falling asleep thinking about the people who you love makes for one deep and restful and peaceful slumber.

watch somebody love

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my faith is bigger than my doubt (but i still have doubt)

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i was sitting in a new church yesterday. a church with hard backed pews and hymnals. the pastor wore a robe. there were no catchy video intros. no drums or electric guitar. no skinny jeans. it was traditional, reminiscent of my childhood, and it felt refreshing.

my bible was sitting in my lap open to the book of john. i was skimming the words as the pastor spoke them aloud when my eyes glanced to the opposite page. there was a small devotional written by a lady named debra klingsporn. i became absorbed in these words and tuned out everything else going on around me.

"sitting on my bookshelf is a book published several years ago called the myth of certainty. the title alone catches my eye and speaks to me with a ring of truth. how i long for a world of black and white, good and bad, yes and no; a world of clear-cut distinctions and effortless decisions because the good and bad can be easily identified. no blurring rationalizations. no complicating considerations. 

but clear-cut distinctions and effortless choices aren't true to my experience of life. between black and white are shades of gray. between good and bad are confusing questions. between yes and no is a strong maybe. 

the fact of the matter is, no matter how black and white and absolute some defenders of the faith portray the gospel, i simply can't buy that line. my experience and the experience of the people of faith throughout the centuries, is one of a God who meets us in the questions, who honors our seeking, and who created us to be intelligent beings. when it comes to our faith, if we're looking for proof and certainty, we won't find it. 

living at the heart of faith is living with uncertainty, trusting in the unseen. somewhere along the way, we have to leap the chasm between that which we know absolutely and that which calls us from within. yet even in our uncertainty, we walk in the presence of the holy. 

God is far more interested in our honesty than our piety. we have only to offer him a willing heart and truthful spirit and he'll take it from there, meeting us in the chasm as we make the leap."

if you're doubting, you're not alone. if you have questions, so do i. i do know that i am loved by God. i know that i have purpose. but i also have more unanswered thoughts than concrete answers. 

it seems that it would be nice to have my theology and thoughts of the divine to be laid out like silverware on a table-straight, perfect, polished. but i think it's better that my questions and answers are actually arranged in a bit of disarray, changing this way then that as i learn something new. if i never had questions, how would i learn? become stronger? how would i challenge myself and others?

i have been that person who is content with not diving deeper. with accepting things with a nod and a smile. and, at times, i still am. having everything figured out is not my goal. but there is beautiful growth that comes from asking "why?" and there is beauty when you see something from a perspective that you never had before. i've been learning this a lot lately. it's scary, exciting, uneasy, grounding. 

i am reminded of lyrics by one of my favorite artists. 

'cause grey is not a compromise -
it is the bridge between two sides.
the shores on which our stubborn land
and restless seas collide.
grey is not just middle ground,
it is a truce that waits to be signed.
i would even argue that, from where we stand,
it most represents the color of God's eyes.

-101010 by sleeping at last

don't be afraid to ask questions. don't be afraid to learn something new or refine the way you once thought about something. be willing to hear someone out. consider that there is more gray than you may realize. trust. pray. love. 

happy mother's day!

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dear mum, 

words cannot correctly capture how much i love you, how much i admire you, how much i am inspired by you. you are a strong woman. you love your family and friends fiercely. you are kind and welcoming and forgiving. you are always thinking about others before yourself. 

i've seen you walk closely with the Lord when life has been bitter. i've watched you grow your roots down deep and flourish in the same spot. i've seen you heartbroken and alone and then i've seen you fall in love again and marry the the man of your dreams.  

thank you for loving me through my worst moments. i've called you crying more times than i can count, and you've always dropped what you've been doing to talk me through. i can be a real brat sometimes, but you love me regardless. 

i want to be like you when i grow up. {minus the really cute habit you have of misplacing your keys/purse/sunglasses/hat right as we're trying to leave the house.}

i love you to the moon and back. happy mother's day to the world's greatest. 

love, lacey

happy easter!

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thankful for a living Savior. thankful that i live a redeemed life. thankful that even when i stumble and fall and make a mess of things, Christ picks me up and showers me with love. thankful for His death. even more thankful for His resurrection. 

to quote one of my favorite songs, 

"my God is not dead. he's alive, he's alive!"

-Christ is Risen, Matt Maher

for i am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. -romans 8: 38-39

good friday

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"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.'"

- John 11:25-26

in Christ alone, my hope is found. happy good friday. 

follow me to

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i saw this photo series on another blog and thought it was too sweet not to share. photographer murad osmann has an ongoing series called follow me to in which he travels the world with his girlfriend while she "leads him along" on their excursions. each photo is from the viewpoint of murad holding the hand of his girlfriend as she walks him towards the sites of each new city. 

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it's probably the soft, mushy heart i have, but i thought this was a really romantic way to capture not only gorgeous scenes from around the world but also the sweet relationship of a couple.

see the entire article here and follow him on insta!

a beautiful mystery

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“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praises. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.” -James 5:13-15

We are commanded to pray. Prayer is the way we speak with God. We pour out our hearts with our desires and our sorrows, our pain and our joy. We plead for a miracle. We offer words of thanksgiving and praise. We cry when we can't form words. We sing when our joy is overwhelming.

We speak words into the air, and they hang there, suspended above us, floating toward heaven. I know He hears and listens to every word I speak, every word I think. I don't doubt that. My God is omniscient and omnipresent, and although my finite mind can barely concentrate on one conversation at a time, He is not limited by human frailties.

The part of the equation that I don't fully understand is exactly how the Lord answers my prayers. By praying, am I changing my circumstances or my attitude?

wanna read the rest? click here to read the rest of my article on ibelieve! 

letter from mom

hi, sweetheart.

just wanted to share some precious time with you today. 

when your heart is a bit heavy, mine is, too. 

life is a kaleidoscope of emotions, many crossing thru even in the course of a day. 

hold on the the absolute truth that He loves you 

and is always wonderfully working in your life and heart. 

seasons are necessary. 

dale and i love you and are always here. 

you are a champion, honey. so delightful and utterly awesome. 

xxxoooxx, mumsy


moms know just what to say don't they?

virginia is for lovers

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who is whose lover?

who does the barista go home to at night,

and what does he say to make her smile?

does the man in the grey coat

have someone to adore?

and if he does,

does he kiss her and hold her tightly?

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has the old couple lost that loving feeling?

or do they still cuddle in the dark

and watch black and white movies

with cereal bowls of popcorn?

does that thin teenage girl
have a boyfriend to call
when she gets home from the mall?
will they spend hours on the phone,
talking about skittles and homeroom?

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and the librarian.

when was the last time she had a date?

i guess we’ll never know

by her stone-faced expression,

the tale of two cities

three-fourths of the way open

in her lap.


you're welcome for that silly poem i wrote in college. you like how it doesn't rhyme? yeah, i'm edgy like that. seriously, folks. whether or not you have a significant other in your life, valentine's day is a day to show all of your loved ones that you do, in fact, love them.  how will you be doing this? i'll be bringing candy valentines to work to hand out to my co-workers. i will also be dressing in pink and red because a lot of people hate that color combination, and i like to push their buttons. tomorrow night, my roommate and our friend liz are planning a valentine's themed dinner. think steaks, roasted potatoes, caprese salad, fondue, wine for toasting. cheers and cheers!

happy valentine's day!
xoxo, lacey